Teddy Bears All

At the beginning of April, TEAM! lost a member when Jonathan Moore deferred his place to 2014. At such a late stage we thought it was going to be an impossibility to draft in a replacement, but we were wrong - within an hour of hearing the news, Emily's oldest and closest friend had contacted us to offer his services and so TEAM! was immediately back up to full complement! Given his late entry, we wanted to introduce him to you and he kindly agreed to a rare interview, transcribed below, which took place at the Marathon registration in London's ExCel this afternoon.

Arriving At ExCel      -     Trying New Kit    -   Podium Dry Run

TEAM!: Teddy, thank you very much for taking the time to talk with us this afternoon, could you tell us how you knew Emily?

Early years with Emily

Teddy: I first met Emily when Alison and her mum adopted me from the island of St. Michael in 1982. I was drawn to her because at the time she was the same size that I was, but - as you can see in this picture - it was not to last. Even though she became much bigger, we were always inseparable and so when this opportunity to join TEAM! came up, I just had to grab it with both paws.

TEAM!: You have been training now for 2 weeks, could you tell us about your hydration and nutrition?
Teddy: Bears' food needs are different from yours, especially when it comes to endurance sports. Personally, I find that my best performances have come after I have gorged myself on chocolates and tea. In fact the better the chocolate the better the performance and if any one out there wants to witness a bear giving WIlson Kipsang a run for his money, please send a box of Knipschildt La Madeline au Truffe to me, c/o TEAM! - they are rocket fuel.

TEAM!: Amazingly, you started training for the marathon with only 2 weeks to go, what has your average week looked like?

Relaxing in Chocospa™

Teddy: Mondays and Wednesdays are when I work on my endurance, on these days I sit for anything up to 9 hours at a stretch. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I practice sitting in a real pocket and Saturday and Sundays are rest days. Friday is the hardest day, that is when I work on jiggling up and down - I can now manage over 3 hours without bringing any chocolate back up, and I am hoping that by Sunday I may even manage 4 hours. People on the Embankment had better watch out just in case - don't be fooled by my size; I eat a lot of chocolate. 


TEAM!: Mo Farah's and Paula Radcliffe's training takes them to the Rift Valley in Kenya, do you do any of your training at altitude?
Teddy: Indeed, don't forget that on race day I will be competing at nearly 5ft above ground level and it is important for me to replicate these conditions in training. When I am not pounding the streets, I do this by completing my endurance sessions on a high shelf.

Mid-Training Run

TEAM!: If all the training goes to plan, how fast do you think you can run London 2013?
Teddy: That all depends on the chocolate and tea situation. And Alison. But mostly the chocolate and tea.

TEAM!: There's likely to be much media focus and scrutiny of your performance in this race. Does it make you want to prove the critics wrong or do you just ignore it?
Teddy: Who are these critics? Give me their names and addresses.

TEAM!: Er... Moving on, we'll ask a few quick questions about you so people can get to know the real Teddy! Property aside, what's the most expensive thing you've bought? Teddy: A 2009, gold leaf-covered special edition bar of Wispa Gold.

TEAM!: What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Teddy: Do you humans really think like that?

TEAM!: Who would play you in the film of your life?

Teddy: Bear Grylls, but he may not be tall enough.

TEAM!: Who would you invite to your dream dinner party? 

Teddy: Yogi, Baloo, Winnie, Fozzie and Paddington. It would be a picnic - old habits die hard.

We welcome this remarkable bear to TEAM! and wish him the very best of luck.

Ever committed to his training, Teddy went off to complete yet another endurance session in the first of this year's sun. 

Quiz Akabusi

Thank You!

There is plenty in this post for everyone: a full report of the results, a league table of teams and even a chance to have a go at the quiz yourself, but priority number one is to say a massive thank you to all our contestants who came along to our two quiz nights on the 18th and 25th March. 

Not only did you make each evening a hoot, but over the two nights you raised a stunning £1,484 on behalf of TEAM! which has already winged its way to Diabetes UK! 

On behalf of us all, thank you very much indeed.

We would also like to express our gratitude to a few other folks who were invaluable in helping make this happen, you are all brilliant:

• The amazing guys over at The New Moon in Leadenhall for letting us use their pub; their service and support over the two nights was superb
• Lucky Voice, Roast, Killik, Riverford, Kernel Brewery, EDF and Loake who all very kindly donated prizes for the raffles which were responsible for raising £519 of the total
• Alison and Dave for their hours of work pre-quiz and strict policing during

Scores On The Doors!

There were some outstanding performances - for all sorts of reasons! - and both nights produced tooth and nail battles right until the final rounds. 

Usually there is only one winner, but in this case there were two and so congratulations go to our Victors of Quiz who were:

The Uffington Wassailers (18th) and The Mankini Men (25th)

For everyone else, while you are all champions in our eyes, for the competitive amongst you we've combined the two nights' scores in to the fabulous league table below - which you can click to make bigger - so you can see how you fared; the numbers in green are the best scores for that particular round over the two nights. 

N.B. The General Knowledge rounds changed slightly between the nights and the figures have been adjusted accordingly.

Let's Get Quizzical!
Finally, if you were part of these moments in history and you would like to relive your glory, or if you would like to have been but were not and fancy chancing your mental-arm against our Quiz Titans, then you can have a go at the quiz here!
Instructions for each round follow, if you do have a go, enjoy, and although there is no longer any entry fee, our donations page is here.
Good luck!


Round 1: Out Of Order!
Click on the answer sheet to the left and either print it out or write your answers on a bit of paper.
All you have to do is rearrange the letters in to the right order demanded by each question.
When you have done, here are the Quick Answers and here are the Detailed Answers. One point for each letter in the correct box.
Score to beat: Uffington Wassailers 11


Round 2: General Knowledge
Here are the Questions and here are the Answers
Score to beat: Quizimojo 17


Round 3: Absolute Beginners
In the video below are the introductions to 20 well known songs from the last four decades. One point for artist and one for title, but be warned they are quick! You can listen to them twice.

Score to beat: Mankini Men 38

WARNING: The video also shows the answers, so make sure you don't look at the screen while it is playing - unless you want the answers that is! To help you, the music - and the answers - only start after 10 seconds. (Mobile device users click here for video)

Round 4: Who's Who?
Click on the picture sheet to the left.
You get 2 points for identifying each of the 10 people pictured and you get a bonus of 5 points for working out what the connection is between them! 

When you have done, here are the Answers
Score to beat: Norfolk & Chance (Johnson) 18



Round 5: Classical Conditioning
Another music round in the video below, but this time there are 10 contemporary songs all of which borrow themes and melodies, almost note for note, from pieces of classical music. All you have to do is identify each original classical piece from which they borrow heavily - a point for composer, a point for the piece.
Score to beat: Max Is Out 16

WARNING: The video also shows the answers, so make sure you don't look at the screen while it is playing - unless you want the answers that is! To help you, the music - and the answers - only start after 10 seconds. (Mobile device users click here for video)

Round 6: True or False?
Does what it says on the tin! Here are your Questions and here are the Answers
Score to beat: Lootun Masseev 22

Quiz Top Scorers: Uffington Wassailers 104 

Letter From The Front

Hut 12,
The Penge Salient
South Eastern Front
January 2012

10 Day Log: 49.6 miles - 7 hours 35 mins

Dearest Samantha;
I am sorry that it has taken me so long to write, but we have been enduring the most ghastly winter. It is the cold Sam, an unceasing and insidious cold which has already cost us Crickson and Smart who went Blighty One with terrible frostbite. On top of that we have no pens and so I am writing this to you using Crickson's finger which he gave me before he left. All in all, I must say that the last 9 days have been quite bleak old thing. Yet still they make us run.

Friday, 18th January
Slated to go for a 7 mile tempo run round ▒▒▒▒▒▒e. Set out in to a fresh winter morning at 07:30 but the weather rapidly deteriorated and by the time I had finished, I was running through two inches of snow.
Thought it was actually quite jolly. What a fool I was.

Sunday, 20th January
Snow has gotten worse. Most of our supply lines have been cut off and people are panic buying in Waitrose like they do on Christmas Eve. I looked in the log and saw 17 miles next to my name yet through the despair I could feel my upper lip annealing as I pulled on my shoes - this is how we conquered half the globe Sam. Two times round the b▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒n, and running on icy sand, but I did it; by the grace of Chaka Khan I did it.

Wednesday, 23rd January
I can hardly write today Sam. The reduction in traction has taken its toll. 
I have just got back from 6 miles of 1km intervals and it was simply horrid.
Ice still there, snow still there and Sunday's sly 17 had taken a bigger chunk from me than I thought.
500m in to the first interval I noticed something was awry when I found that I could not make my legs go fast enough. Sure enough, some b▒▒▒▒▒▒ had replaced them with bully beef. 
As I completed the second interval, I realised that my bully beef was slowly turning to Jell-O.
Just as I could not see how I was going to get though another step, let alone two more repeats, my iPhone stopped working like the capricious little s▒▒▒ it is and so I was left on my own in no man's land with no Def Leppard. But I could not fail Sam: I set my face in to a primeval grimace of furious spleen and set off on the third repeat on the ice like Bambi with rabies. As I descended in to a berserk madness, I forged myself onward with the old regiment's marching song 'F▒▒▒ ▒▒▒ you ▒▒▒▒▒▒g ▒▒▒▒' which was spat with venom at trees, lamposts, bus stops and accidentally one slightly aghast woman round a corner. There are always casualties in war Sam.
After completing the last interval on screaming Jell-O sticks, I returned with mission accomplished, but I had paid my dues, been through the wringer and its memory will long be with me.

Friday, 25th January
6 miles, very little snow, still having flashbacks from Wednesday.

Sunday, 27th January
Woke to rain. There was no snow and no ice but there was rain with a brisk and gusting wind.
But then, like a spell breaking, the clouds rolled away to reveal a most beautiful blue, English sky and I knew that it was today that I was going over the top, Sam. 3 miles over the top to be precise.
The first 17 miles were fine, but in mile 18 and after 3 years apart, I once again came face to face with Herr Doktor von Marathon when Mr. Glycogen checked his cupboards and found that he had mistakenly wandered in to Mrs. Hubbard's and she was still panic buying in Waitrose.
My Central Nervous System had run a stock check, found that someone had clumsily left the tap on and that the Carb tank was nearly empty necessitating an enforced shut down of all non-essential activity.
But I pushed on and through, although I felt none too damn clever for the next two days I can tell you.
This is a long race Sam but one we must run so chin chin and remember to pour some sugar on me old thing.
Your faithful &tc.

Iain (ATP Barred)




29thJanuary
\Telegram#from#The#Office#of#Lady#S#Cosgrove#Cosgrove#Hall#Bucks

dear sir STOP no one here has the slightest idea who you are STOP please refrain from writing STOP we have informed the police STOP

A Dish Best Served Cold

In a November post (pre-Levenson) Alison used some rather underhand paparazzi methods to capture me in a moment of private agony which she then proceeded to broadcast to the world at large.

At the time I said I would wreak my revenge; I just did not realise that it would be so easy or for that matter so soon. This morning, merely a week later, Alison was the architect of her comeuppance.

It was so moving, that I felt it was right, nay my duty to share it with you all.

It has nothing to do with running, but then the best things in life seldom do.

Enjoy (mobile users click here).

x

'Carol of the Bells' Performed by Michael Chertock and August Burns Red
& Featuring Wilkin & Sons Tiptree Brown Sauce

Elaine Paige Horror

Iain's gone out so I can share this amusing sneaky video of him stretching post-run.... heh heh heh ;)
Note: you definitely need sound for this!  (Mobile users click here)