I've spent large amounts of the last ten months helping Mum re-home and recycle the material contents of Emily's world and finally today her home joined that list too. I feel relieved in a way that such a big and difficult task is almost at an end but while dealing with Emily's things, I have really struggled with the concept of where 'she' is.
What I mean is that 'Emily' wasn't there when I last saw her and not being of a religious bent I have no simple answer for where 'she' might be: She's not in the stuff she owned; I was able to recycle and re-home Emily's furniture, TV, music collection and even her clothes and shoes - which were (largely ;) ) good choices - with a fairly level head. Her flat wasn't a home without her in it, just some bricks and plaster, and because of all this I have struggled because I want her to 'be' somewhere. My brain longs for her to 'be' somewhere, and to be ok.
It's such a huge thing to grapple with yet I do find comfort in thinking about some of the unique things she did and created that convey the essence of 'Emilyness' to me, and perhaps that's where she is, however difficult it is for me to comprehend.
This brings me in a rambling way, and via several sheets of tear-soaked kitchen roll, to the playlist on the left.
Mum, Dad and Emily came along to support Iain and I when we ran the London Marathon in 2007. As a typically, lovely gesture Emily presented us both with a self-curated mix tape of motivational tunes for Christmas. It was awesome and creative, and I wanted to share this particularly relevant example of 'Emilyness' so that members of TEAM! can experience it for themselves in the countdown to April 21st - or even on the big day itself. The only track I personally added for my 2007 playback was 'The Trap' film theme as performed by Ron Goodwin & His Orchestra, so that I could relive the watching-it-on-the-sofa experience as I ran over the starting line waving like a loon...